thoughts on pop culture

The Superstars are SUPERLAME

I think I understand ABC’s thought process in putting together The Superstars. I think the conversation went something like this:

ABC Executive 1: “Holy shit! Have you seen these numbers for Wipeout?”

ABC Executive 2: “I know! Who would have thought a show with a couple b-list hosts and a bunch of dumbass nobody contestants would be so popular?”

ABC Executive 1: “No kidding, I was worried people would think we were making fun of regular folks like them and stop watching.”

ABC Executive 2: “Yeah, it turns out watching people you don’t know make asses out of themselves is great entertainment!”

ABC Executive 1: “Oh my fucking god, I just realized what would be even better–athletes and celebrities doing the same thing!”

ABC Executive 2: “Yes! And we can fill a bunch of the slots with people from other shows of ours, like Dancing with the Stars and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.”

ABC Executive 1: “We. Are. Brilliant.”

ABC Executive 2: “Totally.”

ABC Executive 1: “Wait a minute. I don’t think pro athletes and famous people will want to fall in the mud and make idiots out of themselves. ¬†Maybe instead of the big balls and the mud, we should do something really challenging, like a grueling relay race.”

ABC Executive 2: “I like it. I think we also need something American sports fans love, you know, to get them hooked on the show.”

ABC Executive 1: “Yeah, like kayaking.”

ABC Executive 2: “Kayaking is HUGE!”

ABC Executive 1: “I KNOW!”

ABC Executive 2: “Seriously man, we are going to need at least 40 minutes of kayaking or people are going to be pissed off.”

ABC Executive 1: “You’re so right. I guess will have to make the show 90 minutes so we don’t have to cut any of the footage of people getting caught in the cargo net on the final obstacle course.”

ABC Executive 2: “Agreed. This is going to be tight, but I think we can make it happen.”

ABC Executive 1: “I know we can make it happen. Let’s get to work.”

ABC Executive 2: “Yeah, we have to get on the phone immediately. Julio Iglesias, Jr. and Dan Cortese aren’t going to be easy to get.”

Seriously, don’t waste your time with this one. If you insist on watching, keep your finger near the fast forward button on your DVR remote. I usually don’t decide after just one episode, but¬†The Superstars is banished.


June 23, 2009 Posted by | Banished, Game Shows, New Series, Premiere, Reality, Television | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment