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The Superstars are SUPERLAME

I think I understand ABC’s thought process in putting together The Superstars. I think the conversation went something like this:

ABC Executive 1: “Holy shit! Have you seen these numbers for Wipeout?”

ABC Executive 2: “I know! Who would have thought a show with a couple b-list hosts and a bunch of dumbass nobody contestants would be so popular?”

ABC Executive 1: “No kidding, I was worried people would think we were making fun of regular folks like them and stop watching.”

ABC Executive 2: “Yeah, it turns out watching people you don’t know make asses out of themselves is great entertainment!”

ABC Executive 1: “Oh my fucking god, I just realized what would be even better–athletes and celebrities doing the same thing!”

ABC Executive 2: “Yes! And we can fill a bunch of the slots with people from other shows of ours, like Dancing with the Stars and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.”

ABC Executive 1: “We. Are. Brilliant.”

ABC Executive 2: “Totally.”

ABC Executive 1: “Wait a minute. I don’t think pro athletes and famous people will want to fall in the mud and make idiots out of themselves.  Maybe instead of the big balls and the mud, we should do something really challenging, like a grueling relay race.”

ABC Executive 2: “I like it. I think we also need something American sports fans love, you know, to get them hooked on the show.”

ABC Executive 1: “Yeah, like kayaking.”

ABC Executive 2: “Kayaking is HUGE!”

ABC Executive 1: “I KNOW!”

ABC Executive 2: “Seriously man, we are going to need at least 40 minutes of kayaking or people are going to be pissed off.”

ABC Executive 1: “You’re so right. I guess will have to make the show 90 minutes so we don’t have to cut any of the footage of people getting caught in the cargo net on the final obstacle course.”

ABC Executive 2: “Agreed. This is going to be tight, but I think we can make it happen.”

ABC Executive 1: “I know we can make it happen. Let’s get to work.”

ABC Executive 2: “Yeah, we have to get on the phone immediately. Julio Iglesias, Jr. and Dan Cortese aren’t going to be easy to get.”

Seriously, don’t waste your time with this one. If you insist on watching, keep your finger near the fast forward button on your DVR remote. I usually don’t decide after just one episode, but The Superstars is banished.

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June 23, 2009 Posted by | Banished, Game Shows, New Series, Premiere, Reality, Television | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Summer TV Preview Part 2: Tuesday

Here is part two of my five part summer preview. 

 

Tuesday

 

ABC – Not much for us on Tuesdays, but on June 23rd at 8/7c, The Superstars will premiere. It looks like ABC is trying to capitalize on the success (and low production costs) of Wipeout by giving us more regular people trying to be athletic. The twist here is that each person will be paired with a pro athlete. One team will be eliminated each week with a winner being crowned in late July.

 

CBS – All repeats here, but if you haven’t gotten on board The Mentalist yet, now is the time to catch up. I think this show is good enough to stick around for a few years so get on board now while it’s still fresh. Repeats air at 9/8c.

 

NBC – I have zero interest in watching C-list celebs trying to get out of the jungle, but I am planning to check out the second show that will be filling the 8/7c timeslot this summer. The Great American Road Trip is like a family edition of Road Rules, although I’m assuming it will have a lot less drinking and sex. Premieres July 7th.

 

FOX – More House repeats, paired with summer series Mental, which appears to be a watered down version of Dr. House working in a looney bin. Early reviews are terrible, but I recorded it tonight anyway. The premiere episode will re-air this Friday, May 29th if you want to check it out. Mental is filling the 9/8c slot through June 23rd. Then on July 21st at 8/7c we will be treated with the sixth season of Hell’s Kitchen. I can tell you for sure that I won’t be watching at 9/8c on July 28th when More to Love premieres–simply put, it’s The Bachelor for the hyper-obese set.

 

FXRescue Me started its fifth season in April, and it continues at 10/9c through September 8th. You can catch up on Hulu if you’ve been missing out. And believe me, it’s worth the catch up to see some great guest appearances by Michael J. Fox.

 

Science – New series Science of the Movies premiered tonight and will be filling the 9/8c position. It appears to be a fun behind-the-scenes look at how some of our favorite films are made. Don’t fret if you missed the premiere though–like everything else on the Discovery family of networks, it will be repeated a dozen or so times this week.

 

SyFy – As much as I loathe SciFi’s new marketing scheme, the have good chance at keeping me entertained on Tuesdays at 9/8c based on the trailer for Warehouse 13. Premiering July 7th, the show looks like a less depressing version of Sanctuary, this time set in a secret government warehouse full of supernatural goodies that reminds me of the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

 

I’ll be back tomorrow with Part 3 of the preview–head’s up though, ABC is premiering Wipeout and new animated show The Goode Family tomorrow night, so set your DVRs.

May 26, 2009 Posted by | Comedy, Drama, Game Shows, Movies, New Series, Premiere, Reality, Science, Scifi, Television | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Summer TV Preview Part 2: Tuesday