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The Superstars are SUPERLAME

I think I understand ABC’s thought process in putting together The Superstars. I think the conversation went something like this:

ABC Executive 1: “Holy shit! Have you seen these numbers for Wipeout?”

ABC Executive 2: “I know! Who would have thought a show with a couple b-list hosts and a bunch of dumbass nobody contestants would be so popular?”

ABC Executive 1: “No kidding, I was worried people would think we were making fun of regular folks like them and stop watching.”

ABC Executive 2: “Yeah, it turns out watching people you don’t know make asses out of themselves is great entertainment!”

ABC Executive 1: “Oh my fucking god, I just realized what would be even better–athletes and celebrities doing the same thing!”

ABC Executive 2: “Yes! And we can fill a bunch of the slots with people from other shows of ours, like Dancing with the Stars and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.”

ABC Executive 1: “We. Are. Brilliant.”

ABC Executive 2: “Totally.”

ABC Executive 1: “Wait a minute. I don’t think pro athletes and famous people will want to fall in the mud and make idiots out of themselves.  Maybe instead of the big balls and the mud, we should do something really challenging, like a grueling relay race.”

ABC Executive 2: “I like it. I think we also need something American sports fans love, you know, to get them hooked on the show.”

ABC Executive 1: “Yeah, like kayaking.”

ABC Executive 2: “Kayaking is HUGE!”

ABC Executive 1: “I KNOW!”

ABC Executive 2: “Seriously man, we are going to need at least 40 minutes of kayaking or people are going to be pissed off.”

ABC Executive 1: “You’re so right. I guess will have to make the show 90 minutes so we don’t have to cut any of the footage of people getting caught in the cargo net on the final obstacle course.”

ABC Executive 2: “Agreed. This is going to be tight, but I think we can make it happen.”

ABC Executive 1: “I know we can make it happen. Let’s get to work.”

ABC Executive 2: “Yeah, we have to get on the phone immediately. Julio Iglesias, Jr. and Dan Cortese aren’t going to be easy to get.”

Seriously, don’t waste your time with this one. If you insist on watching, keep your finger near the fast forward button on your DVR remote. I usually don’t decide after just one episode, but The Superstars is banished.

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June 23, 2009 Posted by | Banished, Game Shows, New Series, Premiere, Reality, Television | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Summer TV Preview Part 3: Wednesday

It’s a couple days overdue, but here is part three of my Summer TV Preview.

 

Wednesday

 

ABC – Summer is here and that means so is Wipeout. No, I’m not talking about the 80’s game show hosted by Peter Tomarken after Press Your Luck was cancelled. ABC’s surprise ratings grabber is back to show us more obese people doing face-plants while we watch and try to tell ourselves we could do better. The new season airs at 8/7c and started this week with repeats airing irregularly on Saturdays. Mike Judge’s new animated series The Goode Family follows at 9/8. I thought it had a chance to be pretty funny, but instead it comes off pretty stale. The liberal guilt jokes grow old quickly, and the satire is just not as biting as it should be. I’m going to check out at least one more episode before giving up, but it looks like I’ll have to wait for Family Guy to come back to get the kind of animated comedy I really want.

 

NBCThe Philanthropist is a new show premiering June 24th at 10/9c. It features James Purefoy (HBO’s Rome) as Teddy Rist, a billionaire who realizes helping others is the only thing that can make him truly happy after the death of his young son. Neve Campbell also appears as a former lover of Rist who now manages the charitable organization founded by Rist and her husband, Philip Maidstone, who is also Rist’s best friend. Maidstone is played by Law & Order alum Jesse L. Martin. NBC has ordered 8 episodes, so I’m considering it more of an event/mini-series than an ongoing show. The talented cast gives this one a great shot at keeping us entertained this summer.

 

BBC America – While it aired on BBC 4 in 2008, the fourth series of Gordon Ramsay’s The F Word will be making its US debut on June 17th at 9/8c. The format of this show involves a guest brigade making a three course meal for 50 patrons. The patrons only pay for the courses they enjoy, so the goal is both quality and a complete service before time runs out. I’m an admitted Ramsayholic, but I prefer the BBC originals to FOX’s Americanized Ramsay. Gordon definitely loves food and he does have high standards, but he’s also a lot more than the fountain of curse words and shouting we see on FOX. Just watch the first episode and see how he treats Kenny Peters. Yes, he gives him a lot of shit, but it’s because he knows he can perform better. This is definitely worth your time.

 

Comedy Central – As Reno 911 wraps up its sixth season in a couple weeks, there’s going to be a hole in the schedule at 10:30/9:30c. On July 15th, Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter will fill that void with the premiere of Michael & Michael Have Issues. Both guys were part of the legendary comedy troupe The State, and have worked together many times since, including their last attempt at a Comedy Central series, Stella, based on their stage show. Their humor isn’t for everyone, but I love it. Check out the links to decide for yourself.

 

TNT – I’m not sure how I missed the first season of Leverage, but I’m going to tune in when season two premieres on July 15th at 9/8c. It totally reminds me of The A-Team, and for those who don’t know me, I consider that a good thing. As for new series Dark Blue, I’m going to have to watch the first episode and decide afterward. I don’t feel like the preview video really gave us much insight, and I don’t know if I can buy Dylan McDermott as a hardened undercover detective. Dark Blue also premieres on July 15th and will take the 10/9c slot.

 

I’ll be back with the final two parts of the preview up before the end of the weekend.

May 30, 2009 Posted by | Comedy, Drama, Game Shows, New Series, Premiere, Reality, Renewed, Television | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Summer TV Preview Part 3: Wednesday

Summer TV Preview Part 2: Tuesday

Here is part two of my five part summer preview. 

 

Tuesday

 

ABC – Not much for us on Tuesdays, but on June 23rd at 8/7c, The Superstars will premiere. It looks like ABC is trying to capitalize on the success (and low production costs) of Wipeout by giving us more regular people trying to be athletic. The twist here is that each person will be paired with a pro athlete. One team will be eliminated each week with a winner being crowned in late July.

 

CBS – All repeats here, but if you haven’t gotten on board The Mentalist yet, now is the time to catch up. I think this show is good enough to stick around for a few years so get on board now while it’s still fresh. Repeats air at 9/8c.

 

NBC – I have zero interest in watching C-list celebs trying to get out of the jungle, but I am planning to check out the second show that will be filling the 8/7c timeslot this summer. The Great American Road Trip is like a family edition of Road Rules, although I’m assuming it will have a lot less drinking and sex. Premieres July 7th.

 

FOX – More House repeats, paired with summer series Mental, which appears to be a watered down version of Dr. House working in a looney bin. Early reviews are terrible, but I recorded it tonight anyway. The premiere episode will re-air this Friday, May 29th if you want to check it out. Mental is filling the 9/8c slot through June 23rd. Then on July 21st at 8/7c we will be treated with the sixth season of Hell’s Kitchen. I can tell you for sure that I won’t be watching at 9/8c on July 28th when More to Love premieres–simply put, it’s The Bachelor for the hyper-obese set.

 

FXRescue Me started its fifth season in April, and it continues at 10/9c through September 8th. You can catch up on Hulu if you’ve been missing out. And believe me, it’s worth the catch up to see some great guest appearances by Michael J. Fox.

 

Science – New series Science of the Movies premiered tonight and will be filling the 9/8c position. It appears to be a fun behind-the-scenes look at how some of our favorite films are made. Don’t fret if you missed the premiere though–like everything else on the Discovery family of networks, it will be repeated a dozen or so times this week.

 

SyFy – As much as I loathe SciFi’s new marketing scheme, the have good chance at keeping me entertained on Tuesdays at 9/8c based on the trailer for Warehouse 13. Premiering July 7th, the show looks like a less depressing version of Sanctuary, this time set in a secret government warehouse full of supernatural goodies that reminds me of the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

 

I’ll be back tomorrow with Part 3 of the preview–head’s up though, ABC is premiering Wipeout and new animated show The Goode Family tomorrow night, so set your DVRs.

May 26, 2009 Posted by | Comedy, Drama, Game Shows, Movies, New Series, Premiere, Reality, Science, Scifi, Television | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Summer TV Preview Part 2: Tuesday